n a d i a h :: l e p a k
got my head checked..by a jumbo jet
By: nadiah lepak

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Monday, 23-May-2011 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
spain: barcelona

welcome to barcelona!
this is nabil
near the marina
View all 34 photos...
how on earth i ended up in barcelona? cambridge uni dgn baik hati (setelah byr GBP30 for the fee) bagi aku MA degree. so ade ceremony on 14th May. nice to be bk at cam kali ni dtg dgn adik aku, nabil. mebbe will cite psl this back-to-cam thingy in separate entry kot



it has been 2 months since aku break up dgn my ex, se. break tu break la kn..masing2 salah sbb x dpt jaga relationship yg dh berusia 2 thn tu. tp sakit hati....psl....by this time, aku dh well aware that this fucker dh 2 bln jugak la dgn bangga nye going out with his colleague kat Carigali SKO Miri. budak baru with initials AFAR (God bless them) i had to always remind myself that aku kewl n aku x kn wat bnd2 x kewl. die nk tabur cite psl aku jahat, aku xbaik ke, dh serik la, pompuan AFAR ni berkarekter, sgt2 memahami dan menyayangi diri dier x mcm aku yg jahat ni, that they are going so strong n sgt2 hepi together n he wud do anything to stay together even it means that die kene berenti keje (marriage policy maaa)..all that kat my circle of frens and his frens, tu die punye psl la nk hina2 aku pon, lantak kau la lelaki. aku x kn bls, biar la die nk wat ape pon. kene jadik org baik (kate mira, one of our close frens). so, aku amik cuti 2 minggu utk gi UK (for MA Day) and bercuti di barcelona!! memula kat UK still rase sendu2 lagi, tp barcelona..aku realized that the trip was what i needed. fuck it la kn my ex n the new girl nk berlagak mcm laki bini pegi keje balik keje satu kete or mkn every meal same2. he got that , i got to go to barca (sape bleh celen ??????) - tu blom cite psl bonus merit aku lg, kn mr firdause (rezeki Tuhan ni mcm2 bentuk, bkn hanya dgn berawek baru je, OK)




owh kenapakah aku x pegi barca darik zmn aku kt UK dulu? tmpt ni bes OK...ade soul. mmg jenis2 tmpt yg aku suke meh nk list downkn:

Quote:
1) architecture: sape leh celen gaudi yg berjiwa abstract? sagrada familia yg legend wat aku terkesima and other designs yg defying the norms. sgt sesuai utk aku yg bkn geometri ini

2) catalan spirit: barca ni susah nk ngaku diorg spanish...sbb diorg ni berjuang utk republik calatan sendiri. ni mmg evidence la di sekitar bandaraya barcelona

3) barcelona fc: that wiken ade game final champions league btwn barca dgn man u. altho aku man u barca pon bes gk sbb diorg mmg power gile. igtkn abis trip to nou camp yg magnificent tu abis daaa...rupenye bile kitorg turun flight blk kat stansted, team barca fc (yes...messi n co) pon turun flight gk. smpt la bau2 team tu kat baggage reclaim area. nabil yg x senyum sejak beberapa hari pon senyum smp telinga

4) spanish revolution: mlm tu aku n nabil jln2 to plaza de catalunya. eh mcm ade org muda mudi berkumpul ramai2. igtkn hape....mcm ade rally, tp xde polis pon. ade org msak2 mcm kenduri kendara, ade mintak sign petition...rupenye satu spain dh terkene revolution ni. youth x puas hati dgn gov, xde job opportunity, kerajaan corrupt etc. wah, kalo kat mesia xde nye mcm ni. asik kerje nk membersiN n membersiH je kat tgh2 KL kaco trafik n org nk meniaga. cube wat mcm spain ni (NB: after aku blk mesia, kt barca dh tukar ganas sket, ade polis tembak2 gk la)

5) picasso: yer, pakcik pelukis itu juga belajar dan penah duduk sini OKeh?!

6) barca bndr yg lengkap: ade bukit. ade castle. ade port. ade marina. ade beaches. ade history (we went to 2 nice walking tours...free la of coz). ade extremely superb football team. ade taman2. ade india pakai sari ade transportation bagus. ade nice weather. ade arts. ade character. ade soul. ape lg lu nak




barcelona certainly lifted up my spirit.

my fren, adib, as he browsed thru my pics, said: this is nadiah that i know

so guys, where to next?


nota kaki: it's hard to fall in love...and even harder to fall out of it


Sunday, 20-Mar-2011 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
first cut is the deepest

 
since singapore, i've been to KK for road trip & bali for business trip. unfortunately, i feel it is inappropriate to share the pics due to some personal reasons

Quote:

i feel so blessed, that i hav found a person to fall in luv with at the age of 25. it didn't come as a breeze.
i learnt about guys the hard way. that i vowed that i would not let my life being dictated by a man. not to fall in love. not to be confined as a girlfriend material.

but in march 2009, things changed.
there was this guy, full of radiant smile every single day he made me laugh
persistently convinced me that's it is OK to open my heart ( he was soooo patient with my tantrum)
he's not the typical guy i expected. he didn't have the full ticks on my perfect-man list.
but the thing that made me fall for him, is that he has the purest heart
as i strongly believe that u shud not look for someone perfect, but someone who complements u

i was so happy with him. even that we could only met once a month at the most due to work commitment. there were ups and downs, but i thought what made the relationship worked, was that we focused on each others' good quality, rather than bickering about the other half's weakness. on and on, i was told that he loved me so much that he would not let me go.

came march 2011. tides were moving on the opposite direction. i was no longer the sweetest girl, the person who understands him, the drug that he needed to have each night to keep him going for the next day. i could no longer makes him happy. that he failed to changed me to a better person despite trying so hard in these 2 years. in fact, he confessed that he was tortured (literal translation of 'terseksa') while being with me. i was not romantic enough, did not show my "sayang-ness". phewww....how i told him about my personal upbringing and my family value (selame ni aku ckp dgn dinding ke?)
i knew he had done a lot of thinking, that i agreed to his suggestion that we should only be friends.

i had to agree. in fact i ran away from him. cuz i do not have the strength to put on a smiling face with an aching heart.
i have nothing against him. all the memories i had with him are happiness. i could not bring myself to hate him. cuz there is no reason for that. but i have to respect his decision. i just realized that he was not happy all these while. maybe i was fool enough to believe all his sweet words about me.

whatever it is, those 2 years were one of the happiest moment of my life. no matter if his words are real or not, there's no regret..


entry luahan perasaan. sukati aku la. fotopage aku...


Friday, 13-Aug-2010 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
singapore

orchard road
ion orchard
wisma atria, the opis
View all 30 photos...
hehe aku gi singapore ni seme bende disponsor..sbb nye, pegi utk keje. keje nye ialah model development utk plant aku. perghh model building mmg hampeh, stressful giler rase nk tarik2 rambut je tp ditenangkn sbb bwh opis tu ialah ion orchard, wisma atria shopping etc. etc. even jln balik hotel (royal plaza) pown lalu shopping mall. mmg tenang (tp x brape nk tenang biler wiken time org2 serbu sales menggila).

kitorg sgt untung sbb dpt long weekend, due to singapore national day. so, aktiviti yg dilaksanakan ialah......

singapore zoo! mmg terbaekk. zoo negara kat ulu klang tu mmg kesian giler la. sing zoo ni mcm dier biar je binatang2 dier, xde la dok dlm kandang sgt. mcm zoo dlm hutan sket.

then, gi arab street jugak. sini area melayu la kire. ade masjid sultan n kedai2 melayu jual halal food. nasik beriyani zam2 yg mmg mengancam ade satu backpacker's place kat situ yg mcm kewl...mat salleh2 hangout atas sofa tgk org lalu lalang. kalo aku x dok royal plaza, mmg aku nk dok situ dh juga kat situ ade mcm muzium kg glam. ala yg femes citer kat utusan mesia byk thn dulu. mmg pon bangsa melayu ni terpinggir kat singapore no doubt. nk mkn halal kat wisma atria (opis kitorg) pon susah. seb baik ade kedai2 indon. ntah camne la melayu2 sini mkn. mungkin diorg sgt gigih kot, or ade yg jenis bedal je...entah la

kitorg jugak pegi sentosa island. fun fun fun laaaa yg paling bes ialah luge ride. mmg x puas naik sekali. kene naik berkali2 (kitorg naik siang n mlm ) then ade song of the sea nye show time maghrib2 pantai2 kat situ, especially siloso beach..mmg penuh dgn manusia la since arie tu national day. tp teka la warga ape...warga asing india2 pakai kain pelekat. siyes shit ok dh la stretch situ kene mandi ngadap kapal2 n refinery. isk isk marilah ke pulau lang tgh di terengganu yerrr tp aku paling salute budak2 yg jaga situ....x merungut tgh2 panas tu. senyum je n very frenly. singapore nye service sector mmg world class

being here, terigt aku time2 kat UK dulu sbb singapore ni mmg mcm UK. dier nye MRT system yg teratur, org jln laju2, service bagus, kedai2 baju jenama2 UK, ben & jerry aiskrim, byk expatriat kulit putih, cleanliness etc

i wud definitely come bk to singapore. byk lg bnd x explore. mebbe nxt time aku akan nmpk yg msia ni better than them pulak (in term of mentality ke)...who knows


Friday, 4-Jun-2010 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
kingdom of fools

wish for more
one of the things i missed the most bout UK is the massive bookstore. in particular, border's down market street. it offered me comfort in many different ways:

Quote:
a) when the temp dipped to single digit (yg biler dibundarkn, akan jadik 0 degC), the store offered me warmth. sbb bleh jadikkn short cut nk balik college from dept. just cut cross the market, masuk border's, kluar kat pintu blakang. then bleh choose nk ikut sidney street lalu sainsbury's kalo nk beli grocery (another thing i missed bout cambridge, for it gave me convenience) or bleh ikut trinity/st john's street. bes sbb border's ade heater di tgh2 kesejukan tanah great britain.

b) kalo bosan2, masuk je border's..bleh tgk buku2 yg sgt byk. darik seme jenis genre pon ade. rase tenang je.

c) kalo xde bnd nk wat, gi border's...pick a book. baca kat satu corner. baca la selama mane pon. xde sape nk marah. or bring up to 2nd floor. baca smbil sipped caramel machiaato kat starbuck's. dh abis baca, tinggal je kat trolley, nnt pekerja dier simpan kn balik.

d) that bookstore kept me going mase musim cuti, esp biler seme mat salleh & yg x bape nk mat salleh fled off balik kg. ape yg nk wat? main tenet all day long pon akan bosan gk. so gi je border's baca buku free. salunye kalo cuti2, n kalo aku gi kerap, bleh je abiskn bape buku...secara free.

e) the books r dirt cheap n salu ade buy 3 for 2. buku2 affordable, dlm 6-7 pound (anggap la mcm 6-7 ringgit kat sini). kat mesia? kalo xde at lis RM 35 lupakan la nk beli buku


now here i am. kat mesra mall punye popular. igt nk beli buku baru, sbb just finished one (tu pon beli kat KL) looking at the shelves. OMG what a disgrace. balik2 buku tuuuu je, since store ni bukak. diorg ni x penah tmbh buku english ke (non fict & fict)?? cube tgk shelves novel cintan melayu. penuh. silih berganti. secara direct variation nye...menggambarkan state of mind org2 kerteh.

no wonder pekerja2 syarikat gergasi pon pemikiran static. educated but lack wisdom. mungkin kerana salu baca sinar harian/harian metro (akhbar paling laris di kalangan masyarakat melayu). no wonder biler miting or masa diorg bukak mulut, rase nk tergelak dgn gaya bahasa n ape2 je yg kluar darik mulut diorg. mostly diorg akan ckp: yes, i agree. camne la dgn syarikat gergasi ni nye masa dpn, biler led by this type of ppl?

cuba banding dgn mr CVS, pekerja import. dier punye gaji berpuluh2 ribu RM tu fully justified. darik bagi same amount kat bos2 bodoh, baik cut cost n bagi je kat geng2 CVS. aku tau, byk je suara akan kate, smp biler la org2 melayu nk berjaya kat tmpt ni kalo asik mr CVS je yg control seme (pandangan geng2 subsidi n takut meritokrasi). CVS ckp org dgr...sbb ape? sbb dier well-read. he knows what shit he's talking about. proof? mase isu HX,org2 bangsa aku tuding jari kat org tu org ni. mr CVS? he was busy looking at books on advanced in electrochemistry to understand the situation, so that bleh troubleshoot n x kene tipu dgn vendor. he even asked around sape yg bleh lend him those books from some uni.

i feel like crying as i look at those shelves. i used to have non-stop access to books. tp biler balik sini, plus kerja kat bandar raya paling kaya di pantai timur ni, aku slowly jadik manusia yg static-minded. yes aku stil boleh access internet n baca ape2 article on-line...but the gadgets can't replace the feeling of reading a book at your own peace with occasional sip of coffee

i left mesra mall empty handed.

next time if you're coming to kerteh, bring me some books


Saturday, 24-Apr-2010 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
bario

ini rumah douglas
guesthouse la
bunga kat bario ni besar2
View all 87 photos...
there i was. waiting for the traffic light to turn green. how sickening it was. surrounded by kereta2 besar, each so eager to potong queue and cilok sane sini, so dat boleh smp ofis (read: refinery, petchem plants with the big flare lighting up the morning sky) cpt2. suffocating.
just 2 days ago, i was inhaling the nicest, freshest air...in bario.

firefly plane rose high up to the sky. there i was, still waiting for the light to change its colour. racing the rat race dgn makhluk2 kete besar gaji besar semuanye besar.
how i wish i were in the plane...flying back to bario.



what so special about bario? masa kat sane x sedar. yg aku sedar, aku cuma kat kawasan kg. longing for astro, some entertainment, kedai yg bukak siang mlm. tp biler dh balik kerteh (which is still a kg, but a kg for snobs n harga seme mahal sbb penduduk tamak haloba)...how i long for the kgness of bario. or is it cuz i miss my own kg so much..that even a few days stay in bario pon dh wat aku rase bes giler? when was the last time aku balik kg? nope, not balik rumah pak lang mat. but balik to my real kg in tunjang? surrounded by beloved relative...and of course my late 'tok'. i long for that. mebbe thats why i miss bario. miss the kgness

kampungness in bario



kenape foreign tourists flocking to bario? for its simple kgness! that's it. bagi masyarakat2 msia yg berkg...mebbe x rase ape. mebbe akan rase, "alah, mcm kt kg aku je" but how often do u get to go back to ur kg my dear? sethn sekali? sebln skali ( dun think so?!)




lifestyle kat bario still mcm kg biasa. aktiviti org kg pon mcm org2 kg kat batu 17, tunjang...or kg pulau nyior. pakcik2 stil nek motor ke hulu hilir. mak cik2 stil pegi sawah. kanak2 kg stil memancing ikan kat parit. relaxing

that's what david, si australian, and mak dier, si south african (ironic giler kn...kate anak beranak) came for. or mebbe something else, besides the kgness?

the air

extra special. smp boleh menghasilkn bunga loceng sebesar muka. siyes aku x tipu. fresh giler kot udara sini. dgn bunyik2 serangga. perghhh...layan.
turun je darik maswing flight...nyaman je rase. x sepanas n sebahang bandar miri. reminds me of refreshing spring air kat UK




maswing

talking about maswing...
ur trip (or adventure) to bario will start dgn the flight. what an experience cuak gk mase nk take off dgn plane sekecik tu. bape org passenger je bleh naik. aku dgn se, giler muka tourist. bergaya dgn hiking shoes. but org lain, sempoi dgn pakai baju org kg n slipar. mebbe flight ni bg diorg mcm nek bas gi bandar je. although the truth is, mahal la utk org2 kg ni. RM 70 plus some tax. how can org kg afford to travel often to miri naik flight? so, kalo nk run errand, ade runner yg bwk 4WD gi miri to get the bnd2..lalu jln balak.



dlm byk2 bnd, aku rase aku plaing kagum mase naik maswing ni. hebat sial pilot dier. from passenger nye seat, bleh nmpk cockpit (xde pintu). bleh nmpk cam ne diorg pulas knob sane sini tekan button itu ini...time nk take off. darik plane dok kat runaway, smp plane dpt fly off. mmg aku tabik spring.

tmbh lg time nk landing, especially biler dh smp bario. bario ni surrounded by gunung ganang. so suddenly ade gunung, then kat valley ade bario. so pilot kene terrer la camne nk landing. hebat2



no wonder la idris jala bleh jadik bos mas dulu. misti kecik2 dh biase tgk pilot2 ni...n rase nk blaja pandai2 smp bleh jadik pilot2 ni.

encik pilot, awak lah si hero!

bangsa kelabit

kelabit=idris jala? more than that. org2 mcm kite ni je asik tny psl idris jala kalo sebut psl bario. org2 bario sendiri x kesah pon. so what....idris tu kwn diorg. diorg xde la pukul gebang pon. xde la wat memorial kat umah idris jala. seme org wat derkkkkk je.



sbb bangsa kelabit ni sendiri pon ramai yg pandai2. ramai yg berjaya. bukan idris sorg je. bangsa ni bangsa yg mmg sukakn ilmu. anak2 mmg seme anta sekolah, even kene dok asrama. some sanggup pindah darik idup kat utan, utk hidup kat pekan bario sbb anak blaja pandai..so that anak senang gi skolah.

lian, the PE plant designer

lian ialah tour guide kitorg mase gi kg2 ikut trail hutan. gaya mcm indiana jones, dgn baju kemeja topi n wellington boots. english fluent giler (btw, budak2 kecik kelabit pon byk yg fluent giler english. anak melayu cam ne yer )



sape sangka lian ni keje technip dulu. mech & piping. korek punye korek, he was involved dgn kilang poly, adik beradik kilang aku, nyer design. wow. ini rupenyer org yg involved dgn rekaan tanduk mickey mouse kat reactor tuh



lian muak dgn hidup kat bandar besar (KL n miri) so dier balik settle down kat kg i.e. bario. anak2 n bini stil kat bandar. so dier jadik guide kalo nk masuk2 hutan, or stakat utk pusing2 kg. dulu, dier salu sakit kepala. balik je bario...seme sakit hilang. jadik makin fit. boleh jln darik bandar smp rumah douglas (host kitorg) even lps balik darik pusing satu kg. fit giler ok


uncle douglas



douglas sedara kak rosta. kak rosta keje dgn se kat SKO. se ialah BF aku. so itulah relation dier.

tamat alkisah?

ok2, douglas ade guesthouse. sbnrnye rumah dier je pon. so kami pon tinggal dgn family douglas. bini dier la masak kasik mkn itu ini. sedap wooo..paling layan mkn sayur2 kg yg fresh. layan n of coz, ade nenas bario every meal x kire brekfes or dinner. nenas bario yg sedap gilerrrrr. manis berair n x kasar x sakit lidah walaupon mkn byk2

palong kaya, pakcik nenas

palong ialah pembekal nenas. dier x dok kat pekan bario, dok kat kg2 sket. kg pa ukat? i dunno..sumthing yg start dgn pa jugak la.



biler douglas order nenas, nnt paling bwk dgn guni. nenas ni tepi2 semak pon ade. punye la subur bumi bario ni.

we had a chat with palong petang tu. anak2 bini dier kat miri. so dier tinggal sorg2 kat bario ni. nape perlu seme org pindah gi miri? bario bes per, sehat...x perlu berkejar2, x yah nk sebok2 nek kete gi sane sini, x yah nk berbz2 kejar ntah hape pon aku tatau.

hujan batu di bumi sendiri

mengape perlu pegi tmpt lain yg jauh2? yg sebok x tentu hala? perlu ke pegi krabi n balik berbangga2? perlu ke travel tu diconfinekn kpd pegi oversea, so that boleh balik n cerita satu kg (n satu etelin)??

Quote:
The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land. – G. K. Chesterton


yerp Mr Chesterton, i strongly agree



lian ade ckp, rarely ade msian yg dtg bario. biler dier on fon dgn kwn dier, lawyer kaya partner dgn zaidibrahim, psl dier tgh dlm utan bwk west msians..the fren tny, west msians from west europe ke? tergelak. begitu jrg ade org mesia dtg bario. pdahal ape kurg bario, compared to luang prabang, tangkuban perahu etc? bario ni pon rustic. tp yg dtg bario mostly foreigners. he was surprised biler kitorg chose to dtg bario. even douglas n org2 kg lain pon (termasuk pakcik razak hahahaha). seme harap anak2 muda mcm kitorg, utk balik bandar n bitau kwn2...x perlu buang duit kasik kaye tonifernandes, kasik matawang asing makin kukuh dgn gi obersi.


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